Vanna Speaks

Article Number Seven

It's My Barge, And I'll Bark If I Want to…

(sung to the tune of "It's my party, I'll cry if I want to…")

The closest thing that I have to a barge is the station wagon. In this era of minvans and SUVs, that wagon, new as it is, is about the equivalent of a old Dutch barge in a port full of giant liners. But its all I've got, and I do the best with what I have.

And what I do is sail the back roads, and then the 4 lanes, until I find a mall parking lot to negotiate. Talk about needing a port authority! The missteps and jams are thrilling. And the way those humans monkey around is another thrill. Even though it is hundreds, perhaps thousands, of years after my ancestors first saw a human market place, very little must have changed. The hustle and bustle , the noises, the smells and the humans literally falling all over each other - seems like that could describe either time period. Well I like to watch the kids through my windows. They swing food around and sometimes drop it, which makes my mouth water. They also seem to have the same attitude about play that I have. Everything is play! The parents, especially the moms, don't seem to be having as much fun. Sometimes they yell commands, just like my parents yell. And the kids pay just as much attention to that kind of talk as I do (unless you're talking food).

Lots of door slamming, clanking of carts, blowing of horns and car starting and stopping. Even adults throwing goodies to the ground. This is quite fun. And then the pretty girls, in what is called a convertible, come by the rear hatch, where I am peering out. The driver and passenger are both looking at me, saying something nice like "Oh, what a beautiful dog", as they plow into the rear of the van in front of them. That was loud! And it seems to have helped make more congestion and bring more interesting things to look at, like the car with the pretty lights that soon arrived. And the boxes and sacks continue to be loaded on either side of me and more strange people appear within a few feet of my barge wagon. I just watch with amazement. I am never rude. I never bark at the entertainment.

But I see my parents rounding the lane and headed my way. Now I bark like crazy. I can tell that it impresses them because they signal me by waving their hands rapidly in an X shape or putting their finger to their mouth and puckering up. Neat. Hey, the more I bark, the more they signal! They know now that I am really protecting the barge wagon. And it is my barge, and I'll bark if I want to…

Till next time, I have spoken.


From the archives...

Article One     Article Two     Article Three     Article Four     Article Five     Article Six     Article Eight

Vanna spoke with Terry for the last time on 02-19-2009